Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
