Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
