Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
