My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
