have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
