D3 body, D1 cock
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
