Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
