I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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