OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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