all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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