better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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