You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
