Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
