Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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