Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Cover your peen. We're going out.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
