I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
