The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
