Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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