Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
