Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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