is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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