dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
