i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
