Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
