At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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