I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She said her name was "party"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
