WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
