Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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