HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
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