so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
