just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
