Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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