I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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