Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
