Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
