I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
