Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
