he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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