i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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