Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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