just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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