I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
