i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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