What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
