it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
