Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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