apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
