Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
