Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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