i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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